


The pain of words

by neymarsangel



Category: Football RPF
Genre: FIFA World Cup 2018, Gen, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 22:00:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15300930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neymarsangel/pseuds/neymarsangel
Summary: This holds place the night after Brazil's loss in FIFA World Cup in Neymar's hotel room.





	The pain of words

I held down my country, once again. I was supposed to take Brazil at the top, to make everybody see what this team is capable of, instead, it's been the opposite.  
When I was a child, I dreamed about winning a world cup, I wanted to become a famous football player and to bring my country joy, like Pelé and Ronaldo did.  
At the time I was poor, but I felt happy and careless, something that now I don't feel anymore.  
The last few months, since I suffered the injury, have been the worst of my life.  
I became rather good at faking smiles in front of the others, but inside I was slowly dying and I knew that it wouldn't end well for me unless I won the world cup.  
I really tried my best to reach my top form for the matches, I was really believing this could have been the right year, I wanted a revenge from 2014.  
But no, today everything went in the wrong way.  
Truth to be told, I started planning this gesture even in the past days. All the hate I was getting was too much for me to bear, I read many bad comments and insults and each one of those felt like a stab to my heart. I've been crying every night in silence, shedding all the tears I had to keep inside during the day, but I continued my life knowing that there was a chance to win the trophy, and with that, happiness.  
Now I am in my hotel room, alone, ready to put an end to my pain forever.  
I remember when I wanted to do this some years ago, after the Copa America loss, but right in that moment, Dani entered my room and ran over to stop me.  
But now Dani isn't here, no one is here to stop me.  
I put a letter I wrote on the desk, wetting it a bit with my tears, then I go take a knife. I almost stop myself, but then my mind goes to all those people hating on me non-stop, to the programs on tv destroying me completely in front of millions of spectators, and I think that the world I'm living in is too cruel for me to handle, that the pain of a knife is not worse that the pain coming from words.  
So, without hesitating a second more, I take the knife and stab myself right on my heart, killing me istantly.  
After that, my soul leaves my dead body,  
all the negative thoughts and all the pain disappear and I finally feel something I haven't felt in so much time, I feel peace.


End file.
